Making Love On A Budget

Making Love On a Budget

It’s Saturday night and Jim and I have a babysitter. I suppose we should check to see what movies are showing. This is the time for our weekly date. (A few years ago we realized that unless we actually scheduled time together to nurture our relationship with the same priority that we make work appointments, it too often slipped through the cracks of our busy lives.)

But wait a minute; if we pay the babysitter, we won’t have enough money left for a movie, much less the inflated costs of popcorn and pop. We could rent a video and play it at home where the drinks are cheap, but we already had the babysitter and were anxious to get out of the house and away from the children. Even more importantly, we remind each other that our purpose for this time together is to reconnect with each other. Staring at a screen would take the focus away from each other.

Situations like the above have prompted us to explore other kinds of “dates” that are free or inexpensive. I’d like to share some of our more successful ones with you.

Outside Dates:

• Go to a local park or place of nature. Bring a blanket and a snack.
• Early evening bike rides. If a bike trail is convenient it makes the riding more pleasant and less work.
• Twilight hikes in the woods with a good flashlight or a nature guide.
• Watch a fall high school band competition and reminisce about our own high school days.
• Find an empty church. Sit, explore, pray.

Inside Dates:

• Dress up. Go to one of the expensive downtown hotels with a nice lobby. Relax, chat, maybe have a drink and pretend that you’re registered there.
• Go to the airport, train or bus station. Sit where you can watch passengers arrive. Watch loved one’s reunite and mysterious people go on their way. Make up stories about the passengers you see and why they’ve come to your area. Add a prayer especially for those who look like the purpose of their travel might be a crisis or unhappy occasion.
• Usher at a local theater. See some great shows for the price of a flashlight and a little extra time.
• Go window-shopping downtown or at a mall.

Most of the above activities work best when combined with an ice cream cone, frozen yogurt, or hot mulled cider. Of course sometimes, the lack of babysitters, money, or just too many nights out already that week, make staying home the date of choice. To make at-home dates work with kids, we’ve tended to start them very late, after the younger children are in bed and the older ones are out. Here are our favorites.

Stay at Home Dates:

• Play Scrabble (or other board games or cards for two). This has worked best with candlelight and a special snack.
• Late night candlelight dinner for two.
• Anything in front of the fireplace with popcorn.  Add a sharing topic: Each write down 5 to 10 favorite times we’ve had together over our marriage and reminisce.
• Rent a classic, nostalgic video like Casablanca.
• Roll up the rug, get some music of your dating courtship era, and dance till you collapse.
• Do a puzzle, finger paint together.
• Backyard stargazing on a blanket.

So that one spouse doesn’t feel the full burden of initiating and being creative, we alternate responsibility for planning these dates. What creative dates have enlivened your marriage without breaking the bank?

Article by Susan Vogt, MA, CFLE, who along with her husband of 30 years Jim have four children and have been active in ministry to marriages and families for several years. Article used with permission from the US Bishop’s marriage website ForYourMarriage.org.