Pornography

Often, suspicions arise long before an inappropriate behavior is discovered. There are several signs that may indicate a growing problem with pornography or other related behaviors (source: National Coalition Against Pornography):

1. Loss of interest in sexual relations or insatiable sexual appetite.
2. Introduction of unusual sexual practices in the relationship.
3. Diminished emotional, physical, social, spiritual, and intellectual intimacy.
4. Neglect of responsibilities.
5. Increased isolation (such as late-night hours on the computer); withdrawal from family.
6. Easily irritated, irregular mood swings.
7. Unexplained absences.
8. Preference for masturbation over sexual relations with spouse.
9. Unexplained financial transactions.
10. Sexual relations that are rigid, rushed, without passion, and detached.

• Men are more than six times as likely to view pornography as females.
• Women reported that they preferred engaging in “cybersex” within the context of a relationship (via email or chat room) rather than accessing pornographic images.
• Pornography is very addictive. The addictive aspect of pornography has a biological substrate, with dopamine hormone release acting as one of the mechanisms for forming the transmission pathway to pleasure centers of the brain.
• Prolonged use of pornography produces habituation, boredom, and sexual dissatisfaction among female and male viewers, and is associated with more lenient views of extramarital sexual relations and recreational attitudes toward sex.
• Married men who are involved in pornography feel less satisfied with their marital sexual relations and less emotionally attached to their wives. Women married to men with a pornography addiction report feelings of betrayal, mistrust, and anger.
• Pornography use undermines marital relations and distresses wives. Husbands report loving their spouses less after long periods of looking at (and desiring) women depicted in pornography.
• In many cases, the wives of pornography users also develop deep psychological wounds, commonly reporting feelings of betrayal, loss, mistrust, devastation, and anger in responses to the discovery or disclosure of a partner’s pornographic online sexual activity.
• Wives can begin to feel unattractive or sexually inadequate and may become severely depressed when they realize their husbands view pornography. The distress level in wives may be so high as to require clinical treatment for trauma, not mere discomfort.
• When the viewing of pornography rises to the level of addiction, 40 percent of “sex addicts” lose their spouses, 58 percent suffer considerable financial losses, and about a third lose their jobs.
• Only one-third of couples maintained an interest in sexual relations with one another when one partner was engaged in “cybersex.”

Source: The Family Research Council, 2009 Study “THE EFFECTS OF PORNOGRAPHY ON INDIVIDUALS, MARRIAGE, FAMILY AND COMMUNITY”

Ask yourself the following questions (source: integrityrestored.com)

• Are you using the internet more frequently and/or for a longer time for sex-related activities?
• Are you spending less time with your spouse and kids or other (live) people
• Are you becoming less productive in your work?
• Do you feel that you need to view more (or more intense) pornography? (This could be a symptom of tolerance.)
• When you don’t use porn, do you experience anxiety, difficulty concentrating, or restlessness and unease? (These could be symptoms of withdrawal.)
• Are you growing increasingly more obsessed with viewing pornographic images?
• You can’t seem to stop viewing (or you stop for a while, only to start up again)--despite adverse consequences to personal health, career, significant relationships, or spiritual life?

One of the most efficient steps you can take to prevent pornographic material in your home is to install a filter on all computers and devices.

Many filter systems are available which block offensive and pornographic content. These password protected filters can also send accountability reports, restrict search terms and put time limits on internet usage. There is no reason to allow objectionable content into your home.

The following are suggested filter resources for computers and electronic media:

• Covenant Eyes is committed to helping individuals and families to protect themselves and loved ones from internet dangers and temptations by offering a variety of internet accountability and filter resources.
• Net Nanny is a highly rated internet filtering technology that protects families and helps them manage their experiences with digital content against unwanted Internet content and inappropriate use. Parents, spouses, guardians, and educators are given visibility and control in managing a child’s online experience.
• K9 Web Protection is a free Internet filter and parental control software for your home Windows or Mac computer. K9 puts YOU in control of the Internet so you can protect your kids. We provide tools for parents to control unwanted content and provide a safe Internet for your family.